It’s been a rough winter. Despite a few wonderful adventures, the overall emotion of winter was dread. Dreading the holidays; dreading the increasing political furor; dreading the change in weather. So much happened at the tail end of 2016 that continued to ooze in to 2017, it seems hard to recognize that one year ended and a new one has begun.
On a personal level, my 2016 ended with a minor explosion on the relationships front, bringing to halt what I previously considered a close friendship. While my personal space felt unsure and unfamiliar as the result of such devastation, I determined that this was the start of something good. Although it seemed like a negative event when it happened, it slowly turned into something positive and something I was happy to shed as a part of my 2016 self. Stepping into 2017 with less baggage, more knowledge, and the end of an extremely toxic friendship was a good way to kick off the stereotypical New-Year-New-Me attitude.
It’s been hard to remain focused and collected, especially within the past few weeks. Devastation has been rampant in the United States since the inauguration of the 45th President. The current political climate can best be described in a word: crazed. I’m watching friends and family begin to fear for their safety, whether it be due to race, gender orientation, religion, or immigration status. The entire country is now playing a waiting game biting our nails and taking bets on what will happen next.
At the end of January I celebrated my 28th revolution around the sun, and just as with New Years, I got asked what I want. The answer is hard, because a lot of what I want isn’t necessarily something you can buy, or even something that can be gifted.
- I want to be comfortable in my own skin
- I want to experience more, and push myself out of my comfort zone
- I want to go places I have never been
- I want to return to certain places that I’ve visited; places that sang to my soul
- I want to laugh more freely
- I want to feel more deeply
- I want to allow myself to be more spontaneous
- I want to be able to indulge myself more
I’ve mentioned before my struggle to take control of my body. I’ve had poor body image for as long as I can remember, mostly tied to my 16 year battle with a variety of health problems, including fibromyalgia, a spinal cord injury, and idiopathic intercranial hypertension. I’ve come a long way and have been successful at recently shedding some weight; but I am still a work in progress. I also battle with Major Depressive Disorder, the technical term for re-occuring depression.
In an effort to take control of my body and my life, my 2017 vow was: Do Something Different. Not just try new things or make resolutions, but to stop doing what is not working. If I’ve been doing something repeatedly and yielding no success, stop. Analyze. Consider doing the exact opposite of the previous action and see if it works.
It’s been a difficult but rewarding challenge, one that I keep having to remind myself to work at. Now finding myself in February wondering where the first month of 2017 went, I’m focusing on controlling 2017 instead of feeling hopelessly out of control like the year prior. Even with looming uncertainty from the various factions of our federal government, I can take control of the most important thing: my own life.
Be prepared for many stories and ramblings as I slowly unpackaged and document my time spent in Europe; that was so closely intertwined with the now deceased friendship it has been hard to write about until now. I hope to encourage you as I share my journey in self-appreciation. Explore with me as I learn to love myself and my body in whatever shape it takes. Help me decide what the next grand adventure of this year is. Parahawking in Nepal? Returning to Amsterdam? Visiting Iceland? Exploring Sweden? Enjoying the wonders of the Oregon Coast?
2017: I can do this. We can do this. You can do this. Do Something Different.
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28 Comments
I love how you write – so honest
Just love the last sentence of the post, and yes lets make 2017 the best year so far xoxo
http://www.theninebyivana.blogspot.com
Thank you! Here’s to 2017!
It seems like your heading in a much more positive direction and I’m sorry to hear about your relationship issues. I hope you continue with your goals and enjoy yourself after all you make the life you want 🙂
I love this! I am trying to be more positive this year–I want to laugh more and be more spontaneous.
Yes! Those things are so important, but so much more difficult to put into practice then you might think.
Good luck with all your resolutions! I hope everything will work out well for you! And I cant wait to read all your stories from Europe 🙂
It’s always best to try and be positive the best you can, all the best for the rest of the year
Hope you find a light at the end of everything. It’s easier said than done when youre trying to be positive.
this was super inspiring and I love your writing! You seem to be very self-aware and in tune with yourself, which I think will certainly help you in achieving your goals!!
Oh thank you! I would love to say I’m self aware but it’s definitely something I am working on.
I agree with doing something different this year. 2016 has been a year of change for me and I want 2017 to be the year I experience new opportunities. I hope that whatever you do this year will make you happy
Thank you! I hope the same for you 🙂
Love it!! so nicely written!!
Thank you! I really appreciate that
I have been encouraging myself to let go of negative energy and let in positivity. When you surround yourself with positive people, you will in turn live a happier positive life. I wish you the best. And to answer your question, the Oregon Coast or Iceland would be my picks.
I totally agree! I’m a pretty negative person and am trying to change that.
Oh wow. Plenty of good things are on your list for 2017! I’d love to go explore Oregon or the west coast in general some day! 🙂
Do it! The Oregon and Washington coats are like nothing else – breathtaking ragged beauty.
I love your philosophy. I too have a pretty poor body image and love the thought of not trying to force something new, just changing what you already do that obviously isn’t working. A really interesting perspective on things!
Thank you! It’s definitely an interesting way of approaching things because I’m having to retrain myself to not fall back into old habits
Loved your writing. Things go bad but its okay. It is beautiful to let things flow on their own. Go for cliff diving at Peru.
Thank you! Cliff diving sounds scary and amazing!
Yes to all of these things! Especially laughing more freely!
Positivity is the key. Love the way you’ve put your thoughts in this post.
http://www.beforbeauty.com
Such a positive and inspiring writeup. Even I want to experience more, and push myself out of my comfort zone and laugh more freely
Loved reading this post, I would choose Iceland.
I also want to push myself out of my comfort zone this year to see just how far I can go without my doubts holding me back. I also ended a relationship with an ex-best friend last year and I feel so much more positive now! Everything happens for a reason